Do I Sacrifice

So it's time for me to start interviewing for new jobs an I wondering if I have to sacrifice who I am to get a job. What I mean is this: so we're moving to Georgia (the South) and I identify as a lesbian, I call my wife my wife, but I'm being told by professionals that I need to water down that part of me. "Sexual identity should not come up in an interview, " "maybe you should consider using the term partner." I have never used partner to refer to her before. And how can sexual identity not come up? If they ask "well, what's bringing you to Atlanta?" The answer is my wife has a position in Atlanta and we're moving there because of it. Do I change wife to partner and try not to use feminine pronouns to describe her? And if I do it then how do I ever regain my identity if or once I get into the position? AGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! This is so frustrating. When other people are just worrying about what interview questions they are going to get and how to answer them I have to add another component and wonder if I will be accepted. AGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I do not want to start sacrificing my identity.  I'm thinking what better way to combat the heterosexism than head on. But then if I don't get the job, will I constantly wonder if it's because I am a lesbian. Then I think well I wouldn't have felt comfortable anyway. But what about those gay/lesbian students that I may have worked with if I had the job. I could be a positive model for them. I can't be a model if I'm not there. If I only stick to working in LGBT or Multicultural offices then I won't get out and work with those students in other arenas. AGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!